OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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