Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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