I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
