You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
