He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
