Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
