come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
