Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
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All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
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You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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