She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
