that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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