Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
