If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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