i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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