dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
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The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
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You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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