ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
