Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
