This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...