I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
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We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
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Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.