i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods