I'm pants shitting drunk right now
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
