So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
