where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
