dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
