the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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