Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
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Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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