Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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