Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize