In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
