He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?