new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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