stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
