you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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