I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit