I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"