I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.