What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
