That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
