He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize