Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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