O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Holy shit dude........stairs
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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