you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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