maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
