I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize