Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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