question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize