just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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