she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
