The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
