Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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