I am puke
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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