I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school