Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?