Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up