i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session