My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.