i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."