Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.

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  (215): Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless. http://tfl.nu/tw3i
  Replies (142) Good night (2646) Bad night (2362)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.

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  (215): She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz" (267): So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning. (215): Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again. http://tfl.nu/rcrj
  Replies (28) Good night (738) Bad night (3218)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.

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  (443): My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve. http://tfl.nu/bc9v
  Replies (18) Good night (1267) Bad night (6840)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.

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  (716): It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it. http://tfl.nu/m8zx
  Replies (13) Good night (5430) Bad night (1493)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.

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  (606): I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents. http://tfl.nu/w3i6
  Replies (8) Good night (3640) Bad night (1821)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.

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  (218): I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot. http://tfl.nu/z5np
  Replies (4) Good night (1100) Bad night (3044)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.

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  (262): You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk. http://tfl.nu/u9t6
  Replies (7) Good night (4463) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis

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  (214): Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis http://tfl.nu/ji20
  Replies (4) Good night (1611) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.

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  (905): It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms. http://tfl.nu/s3t3
  Replies (3) Good night (972) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.

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  (818): Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party. http://tfl.nu/8owu
  Replies (12) Good night (558) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.

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  (203): I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed. http://tfl.nu/lxpv
  Replies (10) Good night (931) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.

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  (913): Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth. http://tfl.nu/51lq
  Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy

  (813): View more from Florida

  HE'S NOT INVITED!!!

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  (727): The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy (813): HE'S NOT INVITED!!! http://tfl.nu/3870
  Replies (3) Good night (547) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat

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  (717): Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat http://tfl.nu/0lcr
  Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.

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  (231): That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/ogi2
  Replies (8) Good night (806) Bad night (447)

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