did you get engaged???
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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