After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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