Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
