that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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