Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
