There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
