alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
