Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
