I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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