Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
