I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize