I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
babies were throwing up all over the place
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
tell me about the fingering
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