I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
